Hahahaha. That title makes me laugh. I can't imagine the A Baby Story people ever running footage of this birth. Funny funny. Anyhow.

About ten months ago Captain Awesome and I were blessed with sweet baby number four! She is the coolest thing to hit us since number three! ;) I have posted in the past about my birthing experiences and many people were curious about this go-around because I was delivering her in a birthing center without any drugs. I KNOW.

I decided to do this for many many reasons. Namely, I have had just ok experiences (and a rather traumatic experience) in the hospital with my pretty cool ob/gyn (twice) and a terrible midwife (once.) But I really didn't want just an ok experience. I don't want to feel pressured to have the baby when they want me to the way they want me to. I didn't want to be scolded by nurses for doing things they way I want to or not letting them do things I don't want them doing. I don't want to be pushed into formula feeding or vaccinations or unnecessary procedures. Just LEAVE ME ALONE! But the problem is....I have a very hard time telling people that, especially when I am all preggo and emotional. I tend to cave in to pressure to keep everyone happy with me. But I have some non-mainstream ideas about medicine and my body so what was I to do???

So anyhow, I may get into the why's and such later but for now that is where I was in the decision making process. ;)

We found our birthing center by driving by it long before we had decided to have another baby. I knew I was checking it out the moment I got pregnant! So I did. Bella Birthing Center in McKinney, TX is the BOMB. It is run by midwife Kathleen Mayorga and I love and adore her. We met with her and did a mutual interview. She checked to make sure I was a healthy, natural candidate and I put out my feelers to make sure she was truly natural and knowledgeable. My last midwife was kind of a nightmare. (Watch for those hospital midwives...) Kathleen answered all my questions and said lots of things that reassured me she knew what she was doing: she is extremely knowledgeable in the areas of herbs, natural pain relief, how to detect an emergency situation (long before it is an emergency situation) and had an emergency plan if the need arose. She also did home births if I chose to have one. Plus her pricing was great! We don't have insurance so this was also VERY cost effective. She also gives a minister's discount. SCORE.

I had been doing a bunch of research into epidurals and the problem with unnecessary interventions in the birthing process and felt confident that we were much safer avoiding the hospital. Chase didn't necessarily agree but he supported my decision to go to the birthing center. Because he is Captain Awesome. ;)

If you really want to know my reasons for avoiding the hospital in a nutshell, watch "The Business of Being Born." It is on Netflix. ;) (Disclaimer: this is about women in labor so it has plenty of nudity and some language. ;)

Here is a short clip:



So my pregnancy moved along, slowly but surely. Getting ginormous and enjoying everything (well...some things) that goes into growing a new life. Mostly getting kicked from the inside. That is the BEST. I love it.

Anyhow her due date was coming and there was no sign of baby. She was still sitting really high although her head was down. Then she was facing the wrong way which Kathleen said was a sure sign that baby is not ready. I tried to make her be ready and rubbed some lavender oil on my back and while she did flip around, she did not want to come out.
My due date came and went and still no baby. I started taking herbs that are supposed to kick start labor. Nothing. I spent hours rocking on my hands and knees. Nothing. Chase rubbed my feet. Nothing. My AMAZING chiropractor (Dr. Bo Brantley in McKinney whom I highly recommend) was adjusting me two or three times a week and praying over me and with me. Nothing. Every "induce labor" trick we were told or read about we tried. (Except acupuncture. And only because we didn't have the money!) Nothing.

I totally started to feel like there was something wrong with me. I was broken. And then my mom told me that my great grandma carried my great uncle Mark for 12 months. Thank you Mom, for the encouragement. Hahaha. I prayed to the Lord so hard that this would not be a 12 month long pregnancy. My great grandma is a saint. Period. :)

Then Kathleen gave me an herbal tincture that was 90% effective at inducing but wouldn't work unless the baby was truly ready. Well guess who wasn't ready? :) Haha. I can laugh about it now. Thank goodness. :)

A few days later we went into uncharted territory- a place I swore I would never go. I would read about it and shake and say "No way, Jose!" but now we were desperate. This baby was going to be big and we were nervous about her getting bigger. There were concerns that if she didn't come soon I would have to go to the hospital and be induced anyway. (NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!) So we prayed and prayed and talked them into more time and did the unthinkable. Castor oil.
Let me tell you (in the least graphic terms possible) that that was the most disgusting pooping experience (and drinking experience) in my life. Also....I drank waaaayyyy too much. Apparently you only need to drink a couple of ounces for it to work and I drank like eight. So yeah. My bum has never been so sore. But the idea is that it makes your insides move so much that they cause contractions...which they did...and then they stopped. By then Kathleen had consulted with some other midwives who reminded her that two weeks late is not so bad. (Kathleen really does not see many women go over that much...or get as big as I do. Well she never said that last part.;) But she was willing to wait a few more days since this baby was obviously still not ready or else we would have had a baby by then! Supposedly castor oil ALWAYS works. Ha!

So days went by and my bum started to feel better. (lol) We walked a LOT. A LOT A LOT. And I was so miserable (it was SO hot!!!) my trying-to-be-healthy diet pretty much went out the window and I gained more weight. Hahaha! But still no baby. Every day I begged her to pleeeeeease come out and meet us and I begged God to pleeeeeeeease let her come out now. But no.

So about the time my bum felt as good as new, it was time to try again. Lol. So we doubled up on the inducing herbal tincture and the castor oil (MUCH less oil this time!) And we walked. And we walked and we walked and we walked. And contractions started happening! But they would stop as soon as I sat down so we walked and walked and walked some more. We got to the birthing center about 6 p.m. and walked and rocked on one of those awesome birthing balls. And drank more tincture. And walked some more. And ever so slowly there was progress. The baby came down and we were able to break the water at 11 p.m. I knew if the water was broken things would really get moving. And they did. Labor kicked into high gear and an hour and a half later I was in the birthing tub trying to breathe through my contractions. We were planning for a water birth and I was SO excited to be in the warm water. Labor is so much better in the water. It made the contractions much more bearable. Kathleen told me to lay on my left side and then left the room for a bit. About 30 seconds into lying on my left side I felt what I can only describe as "lock and load." I felt her head turn and then was like sucked down further and I felt the need to push. Chase yelled that I felt like pushing and Kathleen and the other midwife said "Reallllly????" all excited. But I didn't just feel like pushing, I HAD to push. I am pretty sure they were saying something about moving to the toilet to push but it was too late. I pushed. The baby did not come out but a whole bunch of other stuff did. (Labor is beautiful, eh?) Thank you, castor oil.

I can't believe I am sharing all this...but you all asked and I try to keep it real.
 So then I was hosed off and moved to the toilet to push some more. Before the tub was even clean I was feeling it, the ring of fire. I had never felt that before! I had always had an epidural. And I knew what that meant, crowning. So they began moving me to the bed and I yelled that Nooooooo, I wanted a water birth. They told me there wasn't time and they were sorry. I was so upset and disappointed and now freaking out. In the books I read and the videos I watched the women were in pain but had time between their contractions to get calm again and to focus on pushing this baby out but there was NONE of that with me. No time in between contractions. Just time long enough to yell that I changed my mind...she could stay in there...I didn't want to do this anymore...make it stop etc. Not at all what I had pictured or was comfortable feeling. I hate being out of control and I was long gone. I was crawling up the wall or trying to and Chase was trying to get me to calm down but there was none of it. None. I think I yelled "YOU FLIPPIN' CALM DOWN!!!" in demon back at him. ("Flippin'" is a major honkin cuss word in our house, so excuse the language. ;)

It was bizarre. I felt cracking and popping and thought I was going to actually split in half and die But then Kathleen kept telling me "Grab your baby! Gina, grab your baby!" And once it registered what she said I reached down and grabbed my baby under her arms and pulled her the rest of the way out. And it was amazing. I only pushed for about 10 minutes. I guess the upside of having your contractions super close! ;)

Something I didn't expect was that it continued to hurt down there (which, duh' but no one ever mentions it or says anything on the birth videos so I was surprised.) and the umbilical cord was touching me and it bothered me and hurt a LOT. I wanted to jump out of my skin it bothered me so much. That surprised me too. But I had my BABY!!!! And she was GORGEOUS! She looked at me like we were long lost best friends meeting again. So funny and strange and wonderful. It was love.

The placenta came out easy breezy (or the "ugly twin" as my OB used to say! lol) and I overheard the midwives discuss that it would be perfect to show medical students what an "old placenta" looked like. A textbook example of an old placenta. It was good the baby came out when she did. :)

We delayed the cord clamping until it has stopped pulsing and Chase cut the cord. Then she weighed in at 10 pounds 4 oz. TEN POUNDS AND FOUR OUNCES!!! I am just so glad I didn't know she was that big beforehand. Hahaha! And 20 1/2 inches long. The most barrel-chested baby I had ever seen in my life. Nearly perfectly round and SO stocky.

Meanwhile I am bleeding and not stopping. Ugh. My uterus got the baby out and was done. So Kathleen did the "massage"-the-uterus thing....but like it had never been done to me before. That tiny woman has got serious strength. Wow. It hurt SO bad I wanted to go back to labor. I was holding the baby with one hand and trying to pull Kathleen off of me with the other. I begged her to stop and let me die. She said she was so very sorry but no. It was awful. Awful awful awful. She kept massaging and the other fabulous midwife got the pitocin ready. Using pitocin the way it was actually meant to be used! Haha. But I was annoyed to need it at all. After what seemed like forever (but just a few minutes) the bleeding stopped and so did the torture. I know I am probably sounding harsh right now. Believe me I am thankful for Kathleen and her work! But it really took me awhile to process. It was another situation where I couldn't control what was happening to my body or what someone was doing to it and that really does a number on me. (Probably normal, right?) It was something else that was unexpected that I had no control over. It just happens. It is labor. Even still-I would do it again instead of a pit/epidural birth at the hospital. In a heartbeat.

So anyway, a few minutes went by and the baby, (who we named Zoey) started to crawl up me to breastfeed! Amazing. I had heard of new babies being able to crawl up to feed but had never seen it. SO cool. And just like that she was eating. :) Definitely the easiest start to breastfeeding I ever had. (Maybe because she wasn't drugged??? ;)

After she was finished Chase woke up the kids and brought them in to see their new sister. It was about 2 in the morning by then. (Zoey was born at 1:10 if I remember correctly.) They counted her toes, fully inspected her and gave their approval. Then went back to sleep in the clinic's waiting room. :)

By 3:30 we had been fully checked, fully informed and were released to go home!!! That was the best. I hated the two days in the hospital with a new baby....I always just wanted to go home. So I was so happy that we were able to go home and go to bed with our new baby.

Recovery for labor was easy breezy. My underside felt so much better so much faster than the previous times. I generally even felt loads better than the times before also. What really hurt was the bruising and swelling from stopping the bleeding. I couldn't move without my middle being in mega pain for two weeks. That was the worst of it. If I would have been thinking I would have taking some homeopathics for pain and bruising and swelling but you know baby brain! :) Also, I wish I would have known about belly binding. I think that may have helped too.

So next time, if there is ever a next time I would like to do some research on getting my uterus to be more proactive. It doesn't like to start labor and quits a little early. Looking back it has been like that for every delivery. If anyone has any info about things I can do I would love it. :) I hope to go to Kathleen again and use the Bella Birth's Birthing Center because I LOVE her and I LOVE it there. Again, I would still choose the natural labor I had over any of the non-natural labors I had previously. :) And I would choose Kathleen over my previous providers. Hands down. :) And no, I was not paid or anything to say anything. I just love her.

Her name is Zoey Dorette:

Zoey is from the Greek word, Zoe which means life or more specifically, the kind of Life you can only have through Christ. As in, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him with not perish but have everlasting Zoe."

Dorette is a form of Dorothy which also comes from Greek and means "Gift of God." We chose Dorette after her Great Grandma and Great Great Grandma Dorette on her father's side and her Great Great Grandma Dorothy on her mother's side. All very special and precious women to us.


God is unbelievably good to us to entrust us with another life. Unbelievably good.

Thanks for sticking around for this long, often gross story! :)

If you want more info (and humor) on healthy pregnancy, delivery and breastfeeding, check out my pinboard /HERE

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If you want to see some of my favorite pics of bellys, babies, families and whatever else I love, check out my other pinboard HERE

I can see the shock on your faces as you read the title of this post. You will gasp in bewilderment and maybe feel faint at this astounding revelation. Okay, probably (hopefully! Ha!) not. But this was kind of news to me.

God always uses pregnancy and birth to teach me something...and baby number four was no different. Can you believe there is a new baby this blog knows nothing about? So sad. Maybe someday I will have internet at home again so I can blog more. :) Anyhow...we have a new baby! (Well...she is almost ten months old now. :)

It was this pregnancy that I really took control over how and where I was going to deliver this baby. You may recall I had a rough time with delivering the Purple Princess and had to conquer my fears and go back to the hospital to deliver my little Knight in Training. (That story here) But in a new place I had more options and really did not want to put my pregnant laboring self and new baby at the mercy of medical staff who think they know more about how I should be having a baby and how to treat said baby than I do. I always get pressured to do things I don't want to do and feel like I should be having a baby when they want me to instead of say, when baby is ready. I could talk so much more about all that and have no problems answering any questions you may have but I realized in this process of choosing a caretaker and birth place that I was finally coming to grips with something. I am a girl. I have been denying this fact for decades as best I could. I spent years actually believing that God made me a girl because He loved me less. I came to terms with the "fact" that He loved every other girl the same as boys except me...He made me a vulnerable, easily abused and manipulated girl because He loved me less. So being a girl became bad.

Just wait, it gets worse.

Later on when the whole monthly thing started (you know.....the monthly thing.) I referred to it as "my shame." Seriously. Drama much? But I was-totally ashamed and now plagued with this annoying, disgusting reminder that God made me a girl and didn't love me as much. My period was some kind of unchosen penance. So I did what any other crazy, dysfunctional person would do. Denial. I paid no attention to my cycle or any other thing that was up with me physically. I tuned out what my stupid female body was telling me and concentrated on what the upside of being a girl could do: control the boys around me. You can tell I was a very healthy, happy teenager, right? ;)

                                                                      She is pretty new here with Captain Awesome


In college I started dating Captain Awesome and continued in my denial cycle. I found after several months of dating that we would regularly have the same conversation. We would be taking our almost daily walks around campus only during this particular conversation, emotion would flood out of me. I would cry and vent and yell, "I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!"
To which he would very calmly (and probably fearfully-ha!) reply, "Wellll...Babe do you remember that we had a very similar conversation about this time last month and then a few days later you felt all better?" Then he would look at me and wait for the light bulb to come on where I would realize he was telling me that I was PMS-ing. !!!! While I was mortified that not only was my period coming, but my boyfriend knew, (!!!) I was very glad to have him do that because then I would remember to go buy stuff before I needed it. Otherwise I was always in trouble. Also, keep in mind that we were not allowed to hold hands much less be sexually active so the only reason he would know that is because he was more in tune with me than I was.

 Yeah. I was that in-denial.

And except for poor Chase having to have "the talk" with me every month, being in denial didn't really affect that much-until I started having babies. Having babies is kind of a female deal...well a totally a female deal. But I didn't want to be a female...I just wanted the babies. Haha! So when it came to my dr's, and prenatal care I put very little thought or effort into how it was all going to go down. The first two times, (despite my knowledge of how bad it is to induce or have your water broken prematurely, or have your baby in the hospital in the first place. ;) I just basically let the caretaker run the show. Whatever they thought or wanted. I was just the shell who wanted to end up with a baby. Truly. Do to me what you must.
Then I realized I was actually harming myself further and allowing myself to re-live past abuses by not taking some charge in this whole baby-having process. (Again, that story here)
Plus, it was affecting my babies too I learned after more study. So for baby number four I found an amazing, very knowledgeable midwife who had a birthing center. A birthing center was the perfect fit for us-not the hospital but close to one in case of emergency and not home where I would be distracted by the dirty dishes but very relaxed and homey. It. Was. The. Best.


One day during pregnancy I was praying about the baby and her birth and "realized" (God basically whispered it to my soul) that to let my body do what it was designed to do in labor I had to accept that my body was female. Female. A girl. A woman. Female. (I am still reiterating it to myself.) And that not only was it female but God designed it that way.

Because He loves me.
And it is beautiful to be a girl.

He showed me that I have been given a gift. That verse "Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control." (1 Timothy 2:15 ESV) took on new meaning for me as I looked back and saw how God taught me, healed me and molded me especially through pregnancy, and delivery. I studied that verse a bit in context and read some commentaries on it and it seems everyone has a different idea of what "saved through childbearing" means. I just think it is referring to the special way the Lord can reveal Himself to women if we let Him. It can be a sanctifying process. Being in labor is such an out-of-control experience (which I am soooo not fond of not being in control of what is going on with me) you have nowhere else to turn but to pray God brings you through it in one piece. And pregnancy can be scary too, I feel so much more defenseless and vulnerable when I am carrying around a huge load of baby with me. It always seems too, that when I am pregnant all these stories appear on the news about sick people kidnapping a woman and ripping her apart to steal the baby inside. Freaks. Me. Out.
Being pregnant and/or delivering your baby is one of the can't-get-away-from-it times when the Lord reminds me of Who is really in control and whether or not I really trust Him. But He is there, carrying me and making Himself known to me. He gives me grace, courage, faith and reminds me that even if something unspeakable happens to me or my baby-He has got this and it will end up being okay.

He uses this time to save me...from myself, my fears, my past, my failures and reminds me that He is giving me the opportunity to put more faith in Him, to love Him more, to pray more, to rest in Him more and give birth to a tiny life I want to give back to Him. It is beautiful and I would totally miss out if I were not created to be woman.

I am a girl. I am learning to love it. And I am so proud that I took control of being a girl and had a baby my way. (That story is coming soon I hope!) I am a girl. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a rock star  ;) I am so thankful Jesus made it that way.