I am currently completely obsessed with holiday traditions and so I thought I would talk about some here on the ol' bloggity blog. Christmas traditions were I think one of the happiest parts of my childhood so they are a huge deal in my mind! :)

I think Christmas traditions should have a goal of drawing the family together, reminding us the Reason for Christmas, should be FUN and EASY.

Growing up our traditions consisted of:
-Advent. My Mom really went all out for Advent, not only did we do the wreath and candles, but she wrote a script and had mix-tapes with the songs that went along with that weeks theme. :) She is the Advent queen. :)

-Driving around, looking at lights.
All. the. time. Whenever we left the house pretty much. We loved it! We would pick our favorites and see them over and over again.

-Ornaments. Every year we would get a new ornament to add to our collection that would someday move with us onto our own tree as adults. We each had a theme, I got bell ornaments, my sister Lisa got angels, Tina got doves and Joey got drummer boys. Fun!
Sadly, our house burned down my senior year of high school and most of the ornaments were destroyed. :( I still get sad a little when decorating the tree.

-At some point my Mom found a kid-friendly nativity scene and she would hide the wise men around the house and we would find them as they were on their journey to see Jesus. :)

-When I was in Cubbies (so like 2 or 3) I made a little manger with popsicle sticks and straw and had a baby Jesus. We took it home and our parents would add straw to the manger as we did kind things, obeyed, helped Mama, etc. and then on Christmas morning, baby Jesus would appear in the manger. Honestly, I would like to revise this a bit to make it less works based but I am not sure how to do that yet. Any ideas?

These days, I am the Mommy. :) Mommies seem to be the ones that generally organize and get the season going, and that includes traditions! Yay! Fun job. :)
Around here, we have some traditions but I have really been working to add some more to our Christmastime season. ;)

-Ornaments! Imagine my surprise when I found out Chase's family had the same ornament tradition that mine did! :) They didn't have a theme, but every year they got an ornament from their parents and grandparents! Yay!!!
For our kids though, we did pick a theme just because I always liked having one. Growing up, my family wasn't huge, there were only four kids, but it was nice to have something that was *mine.* ;) So we stuck with the themes-at least for what ornaments we get them. Their grandparents and greats still give ornaments every year too and not all of them do the theme which adds some variety to their ornaments. :) So far, our themes are snowmen, stars, balls, Christmas trees, and snowflakes. I love it!

-PJ's on Christmas Eve. This is a tradition Captain Awesome started which is so cute. He picks out new jammies every year that they open Christmas Eve. I really watch the jammie sales before Christmas because they are crazy expensive for some reason. (The Shopular app is AWESOME.) This year we got them at Children's Place on flash sale for $5 a set! Woot! (And then, because for some reason by law, pajamas must be doused in a nasty flame-retardant chemical, I wash them a bunch of times before Chase wraps them up. Ha!)

When I asked about traditions on Facebook, a couple of friends said they did a scavenger hunt for the jammies. FUN!

-Last year we started a Random Acts of Kindness (or appreciation, ha!) and got a few done throughout the month. Simple things like writing sweet messages in chalk on people's driveways (like friends and our pastor) and dropped off homemade cookies and such. :)

-Reading the story of Jesus' birth from Luke on Christmas morning. Because, hello. :)

-We drive around and look at lights!

-Christmas Eve service and a Christmas Day service if there is one. Chase and I LOVE church on Christmas morning.

-I stole a tradition from my Mom-in-Love and cook the Christmas dinner for Christmas Eve so everyone can snack on leftovers and hang out Christmas Day and not be super busy in the kitchen all of Christmas.

-Something else my Mom-in-Love started was day after Christmas shopping!!! Now it is one of my FAVORITE things!!! We hit stores as soon as they open and score great deals on decorations, the next year's ornaments, the new baby's stocking, wrapping paper, etc. I have a ton of Christmas crap fun...and it is because of day-after shopping! We hit a coffee shop and then (depending on who opens when...) Wal-Mart, Target, Kirklands, Hobby Lobby, Michael's, Kohls, Cracker Barrel (store part) and anything else that looks promising! Generally we go out as a "Girl's Day" but when we aren't all together as a fam we go out as couples (Chase likes picking the ornaments and scoring deals on outside lights too!)  or with friends.

-We also have a lot of Christmas movie traditions...It's a Wonderful Life, Elf, The Muppet Family Christmas, The Bishop's Wife, Little Women, Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Clause, It's a Meaningful Life (a Veggie Tales movie,) The Nativity Story, The Santa Clause, Ernest Saves Christmas and my older girls like White Christmas and Holiday Inn and I take some time for The Holiday.

A new movie this year we are adding to the list is "Why Do We Celebrate Christmas?" from the "What's in the Bible?" series. (Have you seen any of the "What's in the Bible?" movies? They are fabulous!!! They go through the Bible book by book and teach about why, when, apologetics, Church history, science, Theology, etc. We love them! They give a *lot* of information but in an entertaining way. LOVE!)

For months I have been praying and thinking about how to write a post on this topic. Wouldn't you know, inspiration struck at 3:30 a.m. I am so glad we went to church last night so I won't be fighting sleep in church this morning. ;) Not that I ever fight sleep in church. :)

It seems today's church is making some great strides in really big areas: loving the widowed and orphaned, adopting, helping to meet the physical needs of the world around us- just generally being the hands and feet of Jesus. I think that is wonderful!!! I think we need even more "big picture" thinking from the Church and fewer selfish attitudes and mindsets.

That being said, Chase and I are seeing a common thread in our American churches that is exactly selfish attitudes and mindsets.

We love the "big things" which entail loving the world around us and we should-it is very biblical.
On that same hand though, we should love the small things which entail the local body in which the Lord has placed us. These "small things" are what I believe we should focus on for awhile. Your church is where the most growth should be happening. This is where love should be experienced the most. This is your family. This is where you hear from the pastor that answers to God for what he teaches you (James 3:1.)
This is your springboard into the big picture so we have to get this right. He who is faithful in the least is faithful in much... 

Your local church is really no small matter. (I Corinthians 3)

In my mind, family is a good picture of the kind of relationship you should have with your church. A church membership is a big deal, and one that needs to be approached with great thought and prayer. Once you are in it. You are in it.
Leaving your church should also be approached with GREAT thought and prayer. Leaving a church is painful (or at least it should be) because of the relationships, service to that church and shared life you have with the people who make up your church. Leaving and joining another church feels like divorce and remarriage. It is a big deal.

Ephesians 5 is a fabulous chapter, one of my favorites since it is mostly on marriage. I think though we can also apply those verses to our relationship with our church family, because they teach us how strongly Christ feels about the Church and shouldn't we be like Christ and care about what He cares for?

Jesus loves the Church and gave Himself up for it.
~How are you (how am I) giving yourself up for the Church in which God has placed you?

Christ nourishes and cherishes the Church as His own body.
~How are you (how am I) cherishing your church and taking care of it as you do yourself?

Christ cleans the Church with the washing of water by the Word.
~How have you (how have I) washed your church body with the Word of God lately?

For better or worse, lately Captain Awesome and I have been inundated with people all over these United States asking our thoughts (ok, let's be honest-mostly Chase's thoughts. That is why I blog, haha! ;) on when it is time to leave a church. I think it is a good question because sometimes it is necessary, but let me follow up that question with some more questions to think about: (Don't you hate it when people do that???)

~Did God place you in that Church Body?

~Are your grievances biblical or preferential?

~Have you addressed your grievances with the Pastor and leadership?
THIS IS HUGE. DO NOT. Hear me, DO NOT leave a church without honoring your pastor enough to respectfully air your grievances and hear his explanations, reasons or thoughts. This is critical but is generally not done because it is uncomfortable. And honestly, this should be done long before you reach the point where you are considering leaving. Having a youth pastor for a husband was hard many times, but nothing was harder than when people pulled kids out of our youth group without an explanation, a grievance we could address or fix, or even telling us why. Please give your pastor and leadership a chance to explain their decision making process or recognize and repair the problem you notify them of. You would want the same courtesy. Romans 13:7

~Does only one spouse feel it is time to leave? If your husband does not think it is time yet, Honey keep your mouth shut. He is your spiritual leader and in charge of that decision. Even if he agrees that all is not well but it not ready to leave, let it be. Too many women are making this huge call (or pestering their husbands until they give in) and it is having devastating effects on the Church and their own families. Do not be that woman. Air your grievance, give your opinion and pray about the situation. Believe me. I know. SUPER hard to leave it at that. Spiritual discipline is hard, but the reality is that is not our call to make. Just one to support. I Peter 3:5

~Are there still good things happening in your church? Are some things still moving in a biblical direction? Is there hope? Revelation 3:2

~Is your pastor humble and teachable? (Not perfect, but being changed by God willingly.) Acts 20:28

~How much have you prayed about it? How much have you prayed for your Pastor and church body? How much have you prayed about the situation bothering you?


~What can you do to help the bad/unbiblical situation?

~Are you encouraging or discouraging your church body with your grievances? Are you working to maintain peace or are you causing further division?

~Are you able to serve in your church somewhere? (Maybe not your ideal position, but can you be involved?)

~Does God generally move us out of uncomfortable situations we don't like because we don't like them or does He generally help us through a situation for our growth, the greater good and deeper personal relationship with Him? James 1:2-8

And finally, (if you are still here, you are awesome!)

~How aware are you that Satan is out to kill, maim and utterly destroy your church? I am serious. If your church is preaching the Bible and equipping the body of Christ you had better believe there are forces out to destroy it any way possible. This hit me strongly very recently when we were staying on the property of a struggling church (I haven't updated this poor blog yet but we are in missions! YAY! So we are on furlough more or less. ;) two different nights my son and I had very out of the ordinary, intense, demonic dreams that really opened my eyes to the battle going on there that we couldn't see. My son does not have dreams that he really remembers at all much less could give me so much detail about and the detail stayed consistent when I asked him about it later. My dream was about people in the church family and my son's was about the people while in the church building itself.
There is a war for your church. What side are you contributing to? There is no neutral ground.

After all of those questions, you have probably guessed that we by and large don't encourage people to leave their church and that is an accurate guess. There are times when it is necessary but we don't believe it is the majority of the time.
Paul addressed many different churches for umpteen reasons and there was never an encouragement to split the church, leave the church, start a new church or cause division in the church. Or am I forgetting some verses? ;)
Chase also likes to point out that in Revelation when Jesus confronts the churches about their numerous sins, He never encourages anyone to leave or the church to shut down, rather to strengthen what remains, hold fast, and to seek His riches, His clothing and His vision. (Revelation 2-3)

I will also say that if after reading all of the above, you feel it is indeed time to leave your church, you need to be sure you are doing it lovingly, patiently and graciously.

You do not act as though the people still there are traitors, (no matter your reason for leaving) you do not cause further dissension among the body that is still there and you do not gossip about your now previous church and pastor. End of story. I shouldn't have to list verses for this one. Pretty Christian 101, right? I wish, but it is not always the case and unfortunately, I haven't left a church sinlessly myself. But our goal should always always always be unity, love, forgiveness, peace and grace. God bestowed all these on us when we could not have deserved them less...we ought to do the same for our church and church leadership at the very least.

Let's work on the small things. We need to get back to basics before we can make major strides in our world.

Where is the love for our church? 


How should we respond when we struggle with issues and people in our local body???

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:17-18 ESV)

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all,who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:1-6, ESV)

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For“Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;
let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (1 Peter 3:8-12, ESV) (cited from Psalm 34:12-16. Isn't it awesome when the New Testament quotes or references the Old??? I love it.)

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:9-21, ESV)

Now here is a topic I never saw myself writing about!

But here we are-baby number four turns one year old on Sunday!!! And yayyyyy! We actually breastfed for twelve months! We hit the goal! I am so. excited. about. this! Not only did we hit the goal but....we aren't stopping yet. I know! As crunchy as I can be I have never been super passionate about breastfeeding. Just haven't. But here we are and baby is not ready to stop and while most days I *am* she clearly isn't. And that is ok. I have done a *bunch* of reading on the topic and feel better and better about it. The hard part actually has been what other people think about it. Unfortunately the American majority for myriad reasons  is grossed out by breastfeeding. I think it is especially sad for the Christian culture that should recognize that God created women to breastfeed their babies and that it is healthy, nourishing and part of His plan.

**Before I go any further though I should point out that while I am about to get soap-boxey up in here (gosh, my blog has been like that lately!) I am NOT judging formula feeding mothers. My first three babies were all formula fed at some point! My beef is not with you mothers, rather the culture that does not value God's order, the companies that look to profit, the hospitals, doctors and stores that throw formula at you at every turn and generally don't encourage bfing and the society that has gone so far down this road of packaged, processed food that we think formula is just as good as breast milk. And I will say also that there are legitimate reasons for not being able to bfeed. Again, I am not trying to shame any mothers. Just encourage and inform and hopefully change our culture and churches in this area. I hope before you stop you would seek help with a Le Leche League Professional-there may be a very easy fix to the problem you are having! And if not, I hope you will research commercial formulas and homemade formulas both. :) **



Anyhow, there are a bajillion misconceptions about breastfeeding  (is it sexual? is it necessary past the first few months? why not just use formula? etc) Until rather recently, I used to think several of them myself!
I think this article explains away many of them quite nicely! Check it out!


And this article is about the science of breast milk  It is AMAZING! The things they are finding about breast milk and allllll the things that are still a mystery to us are phenomenal! The author credits evolution rather consistently which is why I haven't shared it on facebook but I find it stunning how God created my body to make such a miraculous substance in such a miraculous way! It is just so cool!


My mom and aunt have always been staunch breast feeders when their own generation had widely dismissed it. Even still with their examples and encouragement I got caught up in the culture that has declared breastfeeding to be weird and unnecessary. I started out breastfeeding each of my kids believing it to be the best way, but until baby number four it didn't last very long.

With my first two daughters, before I had gone through my counseling and healing and such I *hated* breastfeeding. HATED it. It felt rather like I was being sexually abused all over again. I should clarify that what made me feel like that was the feeling of no control over my body, and that my body was being used whether I liked it or not apart from me, a person. NOT because of anything actually sexual. Since there is really *nothing* sexual about breastfeeding. (If you will remember, your primary sexual organs also have other jobs that are certainly not sexual. Same idea applies to breastfeeding. ;) Bfing my first lasted only three-four months because I got pregnant with number two and didn't know it. Bfing that sweet baby lasted a month or so more but I really hated it for most of that time. Bfing number three (after the counseling and such) I LOVED!!! I just loved it! I loved having an excuse to cuddle my sweet son and do nothing else. I loved how happy it made him and I loved the ease compared to bottles and formula and heating and carrying it everywhere, etc. But then we got thrush. And we passed it back and forth from his mouth to my bosoms (as we rather mockingly refer to them in my house ;) and WOW does that hurt. We tried allll kinds of things from what the doctor gave us to the limited crunchy remedies I could find and nothing worked permanently. We very sadly switched to formula after several months.

I wish I would have known what I know now about how the birth experience affects breastfeeding! I wish I would have asked for more help and support from my breastfeeding friends and family and I wish I would have been supported by the medical professionals we saw, the community in general and especially Christendom. :)

Check out this article on bfing and Judaism! The Jewish laws regarding bfing are really interesting and again, I wish Christianity would take it this seriously and recognize it as something so special.

A Tale of Two Rooms:
In the past few months I have been in a couple of different churches. Two of them had "nursing rooms" which I thought was cool. It is definitely nice to have a place to take baby when she is noisy or not feeling well or like the case of my baby currently, gets very impatient while I am getting ready to nurse and she gets rowdy which is distracting for the others around us. Anyhow, I explored both rooms and felt they were quite different. One room made me feel like they valued nursing mothers with everything in the room from the really comfy rockers to the decorations, to the lighting, to the changing table in there, to the tv that displayed what was happening in the service so the mother could still take part. I LOVED this room that was so comfy and peaceful and honestly never wanted to leave.
The other room made me feel as though that church was ashamed of their nursing mothers. Truly. From the furnishings, to the well...everything else, it seemed like this room was a corner for mothers to be shamed and not allowed to participate in the service. Now I really believe this is not their intent! And again, I think it is great that a room is even there if a mom needs one. But I sure did not use that room when I was there.

We need Christianity at least to get back to the fact that breastfeeding is normal. Kids should not have to ask what that mom is doing with their baby, they should know because it should be that normal. Christian men and women should not be offended by breastfeeding because it is how God created women to provide for their baby. Just because the culture oversexualizes everything doesn't mean we have to, right? Isn't that one of the major callings of the  Christian life? Being different than the culture? Doing things the way God created us to? Now, I should clarify here that I am not advocating for uncovered bfing in public. Men are visual and prefer breasts sexually. Since we don't (or shouldn't) show them off when we aren't bfing we also shouldn't simply because a baby is attached. I understand a little of men's struggle with lust and don't want to cause any men in my life to stumble. :) When I am with a woman or two, I take less care to cover...because really we all have the same parts and even then, I don't let anything just hang out. These fabulous bosoms belong to Chase. For the rest. of. his. life. lol. For some reason that makes me laugh. ;)



Breastfeeding for me, like so many other parts of motherhood, is a serious exercise in selflessness. Sure, there are parts I enjoy and will miss when she is no longer nursing. But many times, it is work.
~While there are plenty of women that lose all their baby weight when they nurse I am not one of them. I hold onto almost everything and when I try to work out and maybe lose a few pounds I actually gain some! Yeah. So not cool. I am dying to get fit and slide into my regular clothes and wear one of my favorite dresses to church but it is not to be for right now. And it is ok.
~Since this particular baby is verrrrrrry slowwwwwly transitioning to real food we nurse a LOT. I really wish I could work on my house more and cook more and do pretty much anything other than have a person attached to me for a big majority of the day and night. But that is not to be right now. That is ok.
~Did you catch that I said night too? Yeah. She, me and Captain Awesome in our full-sized bed, nursing through most of the night. You can bet I would really love to have my own space and un-interrupted sleep again but it is not to be for right now. And it is ok.

It is ok, because I love my daughter. It is ok because this is the best thing for her! And it is ok because even though it is inconvenient, this stage is still short! Part of motherhood is learning to put another's needs ahead of our own so I am trying to keep in mind that like marriage, bfing might just be designed to make us holy more than happy. :) (Although like marriage there is plenty of happy too! Don't want to bum you out on bfing  and make you think it is all doom and gloom! I love it and would choose it again!)


**What do you think? Have your views changed over the years of having babies? What do you wish someone told you about bfing?**