I have been reminiscing the last few days, and thought that I would gab a little about where the title of my blog came from and why I use it. :)
If you are familiar with my story, you know I have experienced abuse and other crappy things in my life. That being said, if you know my story you also probably read about the healing power of God and the miraculous things He has done and continues to do in my life.
I have also mentioned before that I LOVE music. It affects me the way few other things do. Just today, Chase asked what song I was playing in my head. He can tell because I play piano all the time and don't realize it. My fingers just move (they play piano soooo much better in my head than I ever could really play, but anyway) and my head is always in song.
Music is huge.

I had heard the song Held a few times before but really only knew the chorus a little. I had never paid that much attention to it.

Then a few years ago I took my girls to a "Revolve" conference ( I DO NOT suggest you go, although the first year we went it was GREAT! The second year was awful and we haven't been back....anyway long story!)
Natalie Grant is a Christian Contemporary singer and she gave her testimony of coming out of anorexia and other issues she had and how God brought her out of it. Amazing testimony...and then she sang Held.

At that point, I had really turned a corner and was coming to grips with Who God really is and how much He loved me regardless of what I had been taught about myself or believed about myself. He saw fit to choose me! He asked ME to come into His family! He wanted ME to spend time with Him! And all that time I thought that He looked the other way or let things happen to me because I  was bad or thought that He didn't care or else He would have stopped it...I was finding that He was holding me the whole time. He wept with me and felt all the pain and anger I felt.
It was only because of Him that I even survived. He held ME.
She sang the song and on one of the choruses she stopped singing and had the audience sing the chorus. I love being in the midst of thousands of people singing...there is nothing like it. I think it is just a small glimpse of how singing will be in heaven (not that that is all we will do though....anyway that is for a different post!)
The voices of thousands and thousands of teenage girls filled the air...

"This is what it means to be held, 
how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life 
and you survive. 
This is what it means to be loved 
and to know that the promise was when everything fell-we'd be held." 

Yeah, I am not going to lie-I bawled....just the realization hit me that the God I then knew was sooooo completely different than the one I grew up knowing. God had been busy ripping the lies rooted in my heart, and He carefully planted His truth in it's place. It was so freeing standing there trying to sing through the tears. They were such happy tears! I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders and it was replaced with freedom, and a peace that passes my understanding. He held me. :)

That song continued to be one of my favorites and pointed me back to that day when Christ gave me His hindsight view of my life...
And then I met Jen.
Jen is one of my very dearest friends and I can't even tell you how much I love her and her family. Our backgrounds are a bit similar and we are polar opposites so we really hit it off. lol
Her story of healing comes from losing her second son. Jacob only lived around 24 hours but he left a permanent mark on his home. He is dearly missed and loved and while I didn't know them when they went through this awful time in their lives, I feel like I know Jacob too. I love that little boy who would have been about Chastity's age. I can't wait to actually meet him and to find out all about him!
The last time Jen had heard the song "Held" was at Jacob's funeral. She had never listened to it since. It was far too painful.
The second year I took the teen girls to the "Revolve" conference, I warned Jen that we were probably going to hear that song. She said she was nervous but she would just deal with it as best she could. I expected Natalie Grant to give her testimony again and lead into the song, and instead the ended the first night with the song. Both Jen and I were surprised by the timing, but she stayed anyway. And we sat and I held her hand while she sang
"Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling.
Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair.

Where we are, we can only get Borax. The other two ingredients we have to order online. My friend ordered the A and H and I ordered the Fels-Naptha on Amazon. It is a little more expensive online than if you find it in a store, but I ordered 4 bars of Fels for $10 with shipping....best I could find. :)

Then, you want to grate your bar of soap as finely as possible so that it dissolves quickly. (Mine was shredded thick and took FOREVER to dissolve!)
I ran mine through my food processor....best thing ever! ;)


Then you dump your shredded soap into 4 cups of water on the stove. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves.


Now half-fill a 5 gallon bucket with hot tap water (the hotter the better!)


Add the melted soap, 1 Cup of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda


Stir, cover it and let it sit for 24 hours to thicken!

After 24 hours, stir again and half-fill a empty detergent dispenser with your new soap concentrate! Yep...all of that is concentrate! Seriously! I told you it was cheap!
Then fill the rest of the dispenser with water. You need to shake before use because this soap will start to gel.
Top load washers use 5/8 of a cup. Front load washers use 1/4 cup per load. ;)

The Duggar's site will tell you exactly how many loads of soap you have made, I just know it lasts forever! And we do a LOT of laundry!

Also, I love the smell of this soap!!! I wish my whole house smelled this clean!!! Maybe it will if I keep up on my laundry! ;)

Your initial cost might be $20 but as you can tell....it is definitely worth it! Let me know if you try it or if you have any tips for laundry! I need all the help I can get! ;)

Also, you can use white vinegar for your fabric softener. I have been using it for awhile and have been really pleased. The smell doesn't stay in your clothes at all and obviously it is cheaper than Downey...
Happy Homemaking!

There are so many blogs out there that have been so encouraging to me! Seriously, countless blogs on mothering, cooking, being a wife, homeschooling, taking pictures and otherwise. But I have to say, I found a new blog and there has not yet been a day where I have not been seriously blessed by it!

http://networkedblogs.com/2KS7c

Especially this post today. Phenomenal.Really.

Go check it out. You will be blessed, and challenged.

Chase and I are totally amazed by how much Pink Princess LOVES anything art. Painting, sketching, coloring, play-doh, finger paint...you name it, she LOVES it! She is getting so much better too...she has started "shading" with her crayons (which is hard to do with crayons!) and she did it all herself! I am considering getting her some colored pencils to shade with, I think she would enjoy those. ;)
She is so serious about it that she will color for HOURS. No joke! And a few weeks ago when I was packing the kids stuff up to stay with friends while Husband and I were gone, I was looking for coloring books to pack for her. Every one I picked up, she would say, "That one is full."
 "I colored all the pictures already."
 "That one is my sister's but she said I could color all the pictures."
"All done."
 "Done."
"Done."
 "Full."
Seriously.
But except for the fact that we can't keep enough coloring books in the house, I think it is so wonderful! :)
I myself am not very artistic, so I think it is amazing that she loves it and has a passion for it.
I am excited to see how God has gifted my children and also to see how they develop their talents. :)
Here is one of my favorite sketches ever! Chas did this a few months ago (and keep in mind she is only 4-I am not convinced she is a prodigy or whatever, in case you are like "wow, sister, you are seriously delusional!" But since she is mine, I am allowed to be super-duper proud!)